my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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