I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
