I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
