The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
