You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
