Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
