what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
