then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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