I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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