that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
