thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
