apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
