I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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