Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
