And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
