No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
