i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
