you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize