ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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