idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
