please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My vagina is officially offended.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
