susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize