I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Boobs are out for the taking
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
