Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
