Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think I won the penis lottery.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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