We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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