I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
