Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
