My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
