My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
