just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
