My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
