So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
