You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
