I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
