idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize