You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
