Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
