Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
