i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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