Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
