Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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