from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize