You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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