Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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