i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize