He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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