Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Shame is for Republicans.
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