I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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