you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize