Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
