its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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