sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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