It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
