Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I came so hard my ears popped.
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