Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
