The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
