I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
