Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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