its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
