i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
