just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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