Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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