maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Found the puke drawer
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
