Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
