I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize