as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just found a bag of teeth...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
